By Dr. Melisa Arias-Valenzuela, C. Psych.
When we think of February, Valentine’s Day often comes to mind, with emphasis on romance, couples, and love stories. But love doesn’t have to be limited to romantic relationships. Friendship, family bonds, and self-love are equally important aspects of connection and well-being. In fact, cultivating a wide range of meaningful relationships can improve mental health, reduce loneliness, and enhance emotional resilience. This month, consider embracing all forms of love, not just romantic, and explore ways to deepen your connections with others while strengthening your relationship with yourself.
The Science of Fear: Why We Seek It Out
Research consistently shows that social connection is a core human need (Kagan, 2009). Friendships and supportive social networks are linked to lower stress, better immune function, and increased life satisfaction (Amati et al., 2018; Yang et al., 2016). February can be a time to intentionally nurture these relationships: call a friend, plan a small gathering, or reach out to someone you appreciate.
At the same time, self-love and self-compassion are foundational for healthy relationships. When we care for ourselves through boundaries, self-care routines, and reflective practices, we show up more fully and authentically in our social connections.
Enhancing and Celebrating Social Connection
You don’t need grand gestures to strengthen relationships. Small, intentional acts of connection make a big difference, especially when paired with vulnerability, sharing your authentic self, thoughts, or feelings in ways that invite trust and closeness:
Reach out with a message or call: A simple “thinking of you” can brighten someone’s day.
Plan meaningful activities: Share a walk, coffee, game night, or creative project approach these moments with intentionality, focusing on quality time.
Express appreciation: Tell friends or family what you value about them, in words or notes.
Share experiences: Cook a meal together, watch a movie, or attend a class. Being present and open in shared moments strengthens bonds.
Acts of kindness: Small gestures, like helping with errands, taking on a mental task, or checking in, show care and support.
Practice vulnerability: Small gestures, like helping with errands, taking on a mental task, or checking in, show care and support.
Even casual moments, when approached with intentionality and openness, reinforce relationships and deepen a sense of belonging.
Why Some Love Spooky and Other’s Don’t
Not everyone enjoys spooky experiences, and that’s normal. Research suggests personality plays a role:
- High sensation-seekers are more likely to enjoy horror (Zuckerman, 2007)
- People with lower anxiety sensitivty tolerate physiological arousal (like a racing heart) better, making spooky thrills more enjoyable.
- Those with high empathy may find gore or distressing content overwhelming
In other words, whether you love or hate horror depends on how you nervous system and personality respond to simulated danger.
Key Takeaways
February doesn’t have to be only about romantic love. Friendship, community, and self-love are equally important forms of connection. By intentionally engaging with others through small gestures, shared activities, and meaningful communication, and by caring for yourself, you can deepen relationships and cultivate a sense of belonging that supports mental health and overall well-being.
Celebrate love in all its forms this February, from friends and family to yourself. Connection is not just a Valentine’s Day gesture; it’s a daily practice that enhances joy, resilience, and emotional health.
References
- Amati, V., Meggiolaro, S., Rivellini, G., & Zaccarin, S. (2018). Social relations and life satisfaction: the role of friends. Genus, 74(1), 7.
- Kagan, J. (2009). Loneliness: human nature and the need for social connection. American Journal of Psychiatry, 166(3), 375-376.
- Yang, Y. C., Boen, C., Gerken, K., Li, T., Schorpp, K., & Harris, K. M. (2016). Social relationships and physiological determinants of longevity across the human life span. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 113(3), 578-583.
If you think you might be struggling with relationship intimacy or self-love, reach out to our team at Uprise Psychology & Wellness. We’ll match you with a therapist who can help you navigate the challenges with care, warmth, and proven strategies for long-term relational well-being.
Contact us today to book a free consultation or learn more about therapy for relationships in Ottawa.
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