by Dr. Melisa Arias-Valenzuela, Psychologist & Body Image Therapist
If you’re a new mom struggling with how you feel about your body, you’re not alone—and this is for you.
As a psychologist who works closely with postpartum women with body image concerns, I hear one theme come up again and again: comparison. Comparison is one of the biggest culprits when it comes to body image struggles, especially after having a baby. And it’s not hard to see why.
Why the Postpartum Period Messes with Body Image
Let’s be real—the postpartum season is a total whirlwind. Your body, your identity, your routines—they’ve all changed, basically overnight. And in the middle of all that, it’s completely normal to feel extra sensitive about your body.
Here’s why this time is especially tough when it comes to body image:
- Your Body Just Went Through a Lot
Pregnancy and birth are huge physical events. Your body might be healing from a vaginal birth or C-section, your belly may still look pregnant for a while, your boobs feel totally different (hello, engorgement or leaking), and maybe your clothes don’t fit the way they used to. These changes are normal—but they can be hard to sit with, especially when you don’t feel “like yourself.”
- Hormones Are All Over the Place
One minute you’re fine, the next you’re crying over a diaper commercial. Hormonal shifts can seriously affect your mood and how you see yourself. Feeling extra vulnerable or critical of your body isn’t just in your head—it’s a real physiological response.
- You’re Exhausted
Sleep deprivation is no joke. When you’re running on fumes, it’s harder to keep perspective. And let’s be honest—when you’re barely sleeping and have a baby attached to you 24/7, basic self-care often goes out the window. You might find yourself skipping meals, eating whatever’s easiest (or not eating much at all), and constantly running on caffeine. Not properly nourishing and resting your body can mess with your energy, your mood, and how you feel in your skin. It’s really hard to feel good about your body when it’s running on empty.
- You’re Figuring Out Who You Are Now
There’s this whole identity shift that happens after you become a parent. You might wonder, “Where did the old me go?” That sense of disconnection can show up in how you relate to your body too. Suddenly it feels unfamiliar, like it belongs to someone else.
- Pressure to ‘Bounce Back’ Is Everywhere
Magazines, influencers, random comments from well-meaning people—there’s this constant message that you’re supposed to look like you never had a baby. As if the goal is to erase all evidence of what your body just did. (Spoiler: that’s not the goal. And it’s totally unfair.)
- You’re Spending a Lot of Time Alone—So You Scroll
Postpartum can feel super isolating. You’re up at weird hours, alone with your thoughts (and maybe a cluster-feeding baby), and it’s easy to reach for your phone. Scrolling can feel like a lifeline—something to help you feel connected or less alone. But here’s the catch: social media is full of carefully curated snapshots that rarely reflect the full story. You see a mom two weeks postpartum in jeans and a crop top, and suddenly you’re wondering what’s wrong with your own body. Maybe you just want tips on breastfeeding or sleep—but 10 minutes later, you’re knee-deep in “what I eat in a day” reels, comparing your healing body to someone else’s highlight reel.
All of these factors combine to make postpartum an especially tender time for body image. And yet, it’s also a time when compassion and support are most needed.
Why the Postpartum Period Messes with Body Image
Comparison can feel automatic, especially when you’re tired, emotional, and scrolling through social media. But you don’t have to stay stuck there.
Here are some tangible steps you can take:
1. Audit Your Social Media Feed
Start by asking: How do I feel after I spend time online?
If you notice more shame, anxiety, or pressure than encouragement, it may be time to make some changes. Unfollow or mute accounts that promote unrealistic beauty standards or make you feel like you’re falling short. Follow accounts that show real, diverse postpartum bodies and honor the full experience of new motherhood—not just the polished parts.
2. Name the Narrative
When you find yourself comparing, pause and identify the story behind it. Is it:
- “I should look like I never had a baby”?
- “Everyone else is doing better than I am”?
Once you name it, you can challenge it. Ask yourself: Who benefits from this belief? Is it even true?
3. Practice Body Appreciation
Rather than focusing on how your body looks, shift your attention to what your body has done—and continues to do. Nourishing your baby. Carrying you through sleepless nights. Healing in its own time. These are not small things. Try writing down three things your body has done for you this week—no matter how small.
4. Offer Yourself the Kindness You’d Give a Friend
Think of how you’d speak to a friend who was feeling insecure in her postpartum body. You’d probably offer empathy, encouragement, and reassurance—not judgment. Practice offering yourself that same tone. It may feel awkward at first, but this is how self-compassion is built.
5. Connect with Others—Genuinely
If you’re feeling isolated, know that you’re not alone. Reach out to other moms, either in-person or in supportive online spaces, where honesty and vulnerability are welcomed. Real connection counters the illusion of perfection that comparison often feeds on.
You Deserve Grace, Not Pressure
You don’t need to bounce back—you need rest, connection, and compassion. Struggling with body image during this time doesn’t mean you’re vain or ungrateful—it means you’re human. This is such a big transition, and it’s completely normal to feel disconnected, unsure, or even frustrated with your body. That doesn’t make you a bad mom. It makes you someone going through something real and hard.
But just because it’s common doesn’t mean you have to go through it alone. If body image struggles are taking up a lot of mental space, affecting your mood, or making it hard to enjoy this season, it’s okay to reach out for support. Talk to a therapist who gets it. You deserve care, too.
If you need a little extra help, we’d love to hear from you! Fill out the form below or book a free consultation with one of our therapists.
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